Hope in a Hopeless World

Mental Health Outreach

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Hope in the Darkness

Hope, You are not alone /
Crystal / January 5, 2025

Complete darkness. My eyes search for light, any light to guide my path. I know the general direction back, so I turn to the left and step cautiously in the direction of the cabin. Rounding the corner I see the speckle of light. As I get closer the light becomes brighter, and the outline of the cabin is visible. Illuminated under the porch light, I see what I am searching for; Hope. In this case it is a metal sign with those 4 letters spelt out indicating that I am at the right cabin. As I walk into the Hope Cabin, I am welcomed by a sense of safety. The warmth of the fire greets me as I take my spot on the couch across from my friend in the rocking chair. We continue our conversation on the meaning of hope and how it relates to the HHW mission. We reflect on the support we offer and how many times the people we meet are often in a dark or low place. Isolation and loneliness are both a symptom and cause of mental illness. Instead of feeling discouraged during these encounters, we feel hopeful because we know there is a path to healing through connection. We enter the dark and hopeless places to help find and guide others to hope. As we enter a new year, we are purposefully planning opportunities for connection, including our support groups and hope connection events. We are here and we are willing to walk in the darkness. Together we can be the HOPE in a hopeless world.

2023 Refresh & Renew: A Spring Wellness Day

Events /
Crystal / May 22, 2023

Our 2023 Refresh & Renew, A Spring Wellness Day was a success! The birds were chirping, the sun was shining, and it was the perfect 70 degree day. Mindfulness We started the day by practicing the difficult skill of mindfulness. Mindfulness is about awareness and acceptance of the present moment. Noticing the things around you and happening within you. It can include noticing physical sensations, thoughts, and feelings. Along with noticing, comes the acceptance or non-judgement of these items. For example, if I am feeling anxious. I might say to myself (or aloud) “I am noticing that I feel anxious right now.” I am not viewing this as good or bad and I am not trying to change it. Mindfulness is a practice that gets easier over time the more we use it in everyday activities. We had the opportunity to intentionally practice mindfulness while putting our own flower arrangements together with flowers from Old Silo Flower Farm. Tips for practicing mindfulness: Use your 5 senses to notice what you see, hear, smell, feel, and taste. Describe in detail your observations either to yourself, to someone else around you, or by writing it down. Guided Journaling Sometimes our own conscious or unconscious thoughts are getting in the way of true rest and renewal preventing us from moving forward. Participants were guided through journal prompts and invited to create a Self-Compassion Intention. The single word or phrase was painted on a rock as a solid reminder to take back to everyday life. Breathing Techniques At times we can unintentionally practice anxiety breathing when we breathe shallowly into our chest. At our wellness day we had breath taking views, but we still took the opportunities to breathe deep from our stomachs and practiced breathing techniques that help to calm the mind and body. Nature Meditation Amber with Sweet Spirit Yoga + Retreats shared one of her many gifts with us by guiding us through a nature experience that allowed us all to slow down and appreciate our surroundings. The benefits of nature are many and the dedicated time spent in nature without electronics, expectations, or responsibilities was refreshing. Sound Bath Sound baths have many benefits including reducing anxiety, lowering heart rate and blood pressure, boosting the immune system, lessening stress, and more. Jennie Ruth shared her gift of sounds with us in this beautiful outdoor setting. It was a wonderful way to close the day. THANK YOU to everyone that attended, donated, & contributed their time and talents! We are so grateful for you all!

Constantly Moving

ADHD/ADD, Parenting /
Crystal / September 3, 2021

“Your son is a disruption to the class. He is constantly moving and making noises.” The kindergarten teacher sounded exhausted. Even through the video call, I could tell that she was frustrated. The words were not at all a surprise.  I continued to listen to the kindergarten teacher go on about our six year old’s inability to follow rules, listen to direction, and be respectful of others. My heart ached for my son. I know underneath the hyper, constant moving body, is a sweet, caring, and empathetic boy.  It wasn’t the first time we have heard this reaction. Previous daycare teachers shared similar reports. In fact we at home have experienced the same situations. Constant moving, running in circles, inability to sit for longer than one minute, easily distracted.  I tried to be proactive and shared this information at the start of the school year with his Kindergarten teacher. Over the years I had also mentioned concerns to his pediatrician. I had spent countless hours reading articles and books and doing google searches on my son’s behavior and how to help him.  The interventions and suggestions just didn’t seem to make a difference. Everyone seemed quick to point out that my son was loud and distracting, but no one had any suggestions on how to help him.  He was seen as an inconvenience. Later that same day, I pulled up to the elementary school and waited in the line of cars to pick up my son. I spotted him slowly walking toward the car, shoulders hunched over. He looked defeated. I smiled and waved to him and he did a quick lift of his hand to wave back but he didn’t smile.  I watch in the rear view mirror as he climbs into the car, buckles up, and then the tears start rolling down his face.  I am not surprised, this has been common lately.  “Hey bud, it looks like you had another tough day,” I say softly.  “Yeah. No one at school likes me. They all think I am stupid.”  My heart ached as, I pulled the car over to a nearby parking lot. I held my child’s hand, and did my best to comfort him.  Something had to change. We could not keep sending our 6 year old to school for him to come home feeling like he is a burden and unworthy.  After several conversations with his teacher, family, other parents, and his pediatrician, it was determined that he met criteria for Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) diagnosis. While the diagnoses made sense, the controversy that comes with this label had my mind spinning. Thoughts about over-diagnosis, medication side effects, treatment options, experiences and opinions of others, all had me wondering what to do next.  My husband and I discussed all the options and spoke with our family, friends, and pediatrician. We carefully considered the pros and cons. Ultimately, we decided to try medication in combination with therapy. We noticed the immediate impact with his treatment. We saw improvement in his grades, his interest in the things around him, his relationship with others including his younger brother, and his appetite.  He could focus on reading, writing, eating, holding a conversation, and playing games. He was actually enjoying things around him, instead of running in circles and moving from one distraction to the next.  It was a great reminder that while there may be stigma, over-diagnosis, and other dialogues occurring, that should not stop us from advocating for and trying things that our bodies need.  ADHD medication for our child turned out to be life changing for him. Even he, at his young age, notices the difference in his body. He comments on feeling calm and in control.  Sometimes what is right for others is not what is right for you. Don’t let fear stop you from making the right choice for you and your family. Author:  Crystal  

Cupboard Doors

Anxiety, OCD /
Job W / June 30, 2021

Walking into the house, I immediately noticed the two kitchen cupboard doors that were left open.  It’s fine. I think to myself. Cupboard doors are not a big deal.  I walk past the kitchen, I stop in the living room to greet my two boys who are overjoyed to see me and then I head toward the bedroom to change out of my work clothes.  The cupboard doors are not hurting anything. They can stay open. The thoughts won’t stop. I have a strong urge to shut the cupboard doors. Everything must be in order.  I walk back outside to join my wife on the front patio. As we are talking about our day, the frustration, fear, and anxiety continue to rise in my chest. During a break in conversation, I walk back inside and briskly walk to the kitchen shutting the two kitchen cupboard doors. The anxiety lifts slightly, but the frustration remains.  Why do I have this obsessive need to have everything in order?  Where does the fear of things being out of order come from? And why can I not control these thoughts?  Obsessive Compulsive Disorder was a confusing disorder for me to understand when I was first diagnosed. I now understand that I have unwanted thoughts and sensations that occur within my body that cause me to repeat or fixate on order and perfection. Sometimes the sensations that occur within my body are unconscious making it extra confusing.  At the surface, it feels like tragedy will occur if things are not in the perfect order. Something tragic will happen if I do not close the cupboard doors. Rationally I understand that nothing horrible is going to occur if those cupboard doors are left open. Sometimes I even laugh at myself for this absurd thought.  However, when I think through the root cause for this development, I gain more insight into what is occurring. My body has a good memory. Sometimes my body remembers things better than my mind.  Tracing this reaction back to years ago. Things being out of order in the military especially on deployment to Iraq, often meant that tragedy could and would occur. While I may not be fully aware in the moment that cupboard doors or other things out of order are causing a trigger response from past experiences, my body remembers the out of control feeling.  OCD is a mental illness that can be confusing to live with and has many myths and misunderstandings surrounding it. For me, understanding what is occurring is a good first step in coping. I still struggle with managing these symptoms but have a better understanding of what’s going on and am able to not let it control my everyday life. Author: Job

Healed

Bipolar /
Elizabeth / May 24, 2021

While ringing up the wrapping paper and first birthday card for our nephew, the cashier asks, “Would you like a bag?” “No thank you.” I respond. “Unless it started raining again…” I add looking out the front of the store at the clouds in the sky. “Yeah, Mother Nature is so bipolar.” The cashier says with a chuckle. I grit my teeth, quickly take my receipt and head out the door. The weather isn’t bipolar, but I am. I thought to myself as I got into my car. I really wish people wouldn’t use mental illnesses as adjectives. This has always been a serious pet peeve of mine. Whether it is to describe a person that is acting irrationally or a way to joke about Minnesota’s weather, it is not accurate, and it is not funny. Bipolar disorder is a real illness that real people wake up with and manage every single day. I know I am ultra-sensitive to this. And I know most people aren’t trying to be offensive. I know strangers andacquaintances can’t tell that my mood fluctuates throughout the day and with the seasons. So, I should just lighten up, right? Well, no. We need to watch our words. We need to be kind. We need to be mindful of the truth that those around us may be struggling or may have gone through something in the past that is still affecting them today. I usually just let these comments roll off my back. If they know me, I get that side-ways glance, with the apologetic look that says, “Whoops, I shouldn’t have said that.” It’s fine, I think to myself. They didn’t mean anything personal by it. Maybe they just momentarily forgot because I’m doing well, I’m stable. Some would even consider me in recovery from my mental illness, but can you really be healed from a mental illness? Can you be healed from an unpredictable beast that once landed you in a psychiatric hospital and requires daily management to keep you from ending up there again? Satan wants me to believe that I’m not healed and never will be. He drops these hurtful words off the tongues of man to trip me up. He whispers that my bipolar disorder has a strong-hold on me that will prevent me from living out my dreams. But, guess what, Satan? While I may have the internal scars and three little pills that remind me daily what I’m up against, my heart is healed and I have been made whole. I have been healed by a loving, never failing, powerful God. He has taken my pain, my wounds and my imperfections and woven them togetherbeautifully to be used for His glory. And the best thing about healing is that it is available to all of us. We know that the hurts of this world leave scars that can be devastating and life changing. We may feel as though nothing will ever change or get better. We may fear that we will never feel like ourselves again. Don’t believe the lies Satan uses to distract us. If we put our faith and trust in the ultimate healer, we will be made whole again. “Jesus turned and saw her. “Take heart, daughter,” he said, “your faith has healed you.” And the woman was healed at that moment.” Matthew 9:22

Insight and Awareness

Anosognosia, Anxiety /
Crystal / April 12, 2021

The first hot day of the year was a few days ago. I stepped outside with my two boys and felt the warm sun on my face. It was lovely. As we continued to play outside, that pleasant feeling was eventually replaced with tightness in my chest, difficulty breathing, sweating, and sluggishness. Heat has always been hard for me. Without warning these physical symptoms that the warm weather brought, were joined by unwanted memories, worry, and fear. As I took a seat on the ground, I recognized this feeling as an anxiety attack. I continued to gaze over at my kids embracing this warm day and I used the skills that I have learned and developed over the years. I began taking some deep grounding breaths, noticing the sturdy ground beneath me, and reminding myself that I am safe and secure. The feelings of fear and anxiety pass quickly this time and I reflect on the physical changes that just occurred in my body. As I continue to learn about my own mental illness, I am realizing the importance of insight and education. Learning more about the how and why can have a significant impact on recovery and coping. Summer and hot weather can trigger those anxiety symptoms and build into an anxiety attack. Without insight, that feeling of impending danger may stick around longer. A new term for us at Hope in a Hopeless World is “Anosognosia” meaning experience of “‘lack of insight’ or ‘lack of awareness,’” (NAMI, 2021). We may all experience this symptom from time to time and the severity may vary depending on the person or illness. Taking some time to learn about our body, our reactions, and our illnesses, can be an important part of effective management. Consider these reflective questions: Where do I feel discomfort in my body? What is my body telling me? What are my next steps? For me, journaling, prayer, self-reflection, breathing exercises, yoga, medication, and therapy have been helpful in my journey. You are not alone in this! There is hope <3 Author: Crystal

Grief

Grief, Pain & Purpose /
Crystal / December 27, 2020

I will never forget the day of my grandma’s funeral. Hours before guests began to arrive, my family gathered in the small-town church that my grandparents attended. I stood near the front of the church with my cousins as my grandpa approached the small box of ashes that now represented the significant loss in our family. He placed both hands the box and his entire body gave into the heartbreak he was feeling. His body shook and loud sobs escaped from deep within. Even now, ten years later, I cannot stop the tears from falling as I reflect on this moment. I think my family would agree with me, that two years after my grandma passed away, my grandpa would die of broken heart. Grief and loss have powerful impacts on our mind and body. Often, I think there is shame associated with the emotions that surface during a time of grieving. Somehow, in today’s culture, we convince ourselves that we are weak if we grieve past the unspecified and unspoken time frame. Like there should be a cutoff date for when the pain and emotions should leave our body.  While it might benice if there was such thing as a date. A date for when grief stops. However, this is not how loss works. It is normal and ok to have waves of grief over significant loss in our lives. If wish I could take away the pain you may be feeling, but instead I offer you these three important reminders. Feeling your emotions is good. Repeat this to yourself over and over when that shame creeps in. Write it on your mirror, in your journal, or somewhere you will see it. Feeling your emotions is good. Overwhelming sadness, loneliness, anger, frustration, heartbreak, etc. will surface and these feelings have to go somewhere. Let those emotions out. Feeling your emotions is good. Sharing memories is therapeutic. Those everyday memories of the person you lost can be painful reminders at times. Find someone to talk to and share those memories. You might say something like: “It helps me when talk about ____ (name of person), can I share a memory that has been on my mind?” People generally want to help and this is an easy thing for someone to do. It will allow the other person to feel like they are helping and will allow you that connection you need. If you don’t have a person that you feel comfortable talking to, send your memory in an email to us at Hope in a Hopeless World! We would love to hear your memories of that loved one. New traditions can be helpful. Finding ways to incorporate that person into your everyday life or celebrations is a healthy way to honor them and allow you to feel connected to them. Each time I use my grandpa’s coca cola coffee mug, I whisper a quiet statement of gratitude for the person he was and the impact he has on my life. Grief and loss are one of the hardest parts about life. It can be debilitating, confusing, and unfair. I see you and I feel your pain. It is ok to grieve. You are not weak for feeling those emotions. Feeling your emotions is good. Author: Crystal

When Things Don’t Go as Planned

Pain & Purpose /
Elizabeth / December 7, 2020

I snuggled into my recliner with my favorite mug and enjoyed the quiet morning. I took in the familiar taste of the peppermint mocha creamer. I decided to set an early alarm so I would have more than enough time to get ready, and as I noted the four hour mark, I walked to the sink and rinsed my mug.  The night before I had precisely followed all the pre-surgery directions to shower and then wait an hour before using special cloths to sanitize my skin. I re-read the instructions for the fifteenth time. No food after midnight. Only drink water and Gatorade until up to 4 hours beforehand.  That morning we arrived early, so my sister snagged a front row parking spot and we took advantage of the extra time to catch up. Since she couldn’t come in with me, we exchanged a hug in the car and I told her I would see her later that afternoon.   I went into the lobby and stopped at the screening desk, explaining that I was Covid positive last month and wasn’t required to have a test prior to surgery. The elderly woman nodded and instructed me to head to the fourth floor. After checking in with the receptionist, I picked the sunniest spot in the waiting room. As I sat down, I noticed the TV screen with a list of patients by number. The man in the chair across from me fidgeted anxiously in his seat while looking up at the screen. I joked that it reminded me of the airport and he pointed out which number I was and said he could tell by the time I had checked in. He seemed incredibly nervous, breathing anxiously, so I said a quick prayer for him as he was called back. I was next. The nurse introduced himself and went through all of the procedural questions before leaving the room so I could change. After putting on the hospital gown and slipper socks, he returned to the room and stood awkwardly against the wall across from the bed. “Since you had coffee with cream, we aren’t able to do your surgery this morning. We could do it at 1:30, however, your surgeon isn’t available this afternoon. I’m sorry, but you’re going to have to call his office to reschedule.” I felt a huge wave of confusion, realization of what I had done and a mix of emotions rush over me in a matter of just a few minutes. Another nurse entered the room and explained the risks and confirmed there was nothing else we could do. They left me alone to get dressed as tears flooded my eyes.  I was so mad at myself. There was no one else to blame. It was all on me. I was incredibly frustrated that I had messed up something that I had planned for so long. As I got back in the car, my sister comforted me, “It just wasn’t meant to be. There is a reason this is happening. Maybe your surgeon didn’t get enough sleep last night or something.”  I agreed with her in my heart, but this wasn’t the plan. I had just got everything lined up and figured out. Now it was all unraveling before me because of my own mistake, and there was nothing I could do about it. After more tears and several phone calls, I eventually accepted the fact that it just wasn’t going to happen that day.  “What would you like to do? Are you up for shopping, or did you just want to go home?” My sister asked after I hung up the phone. “Maybe some retail therapy will help you feel better.” “Let’s go Christmas shopping. All I’m going to do at home is be sad and upset.” I responded. So we decided to make the most of it. We had a great day together that stretched into the night. We ate, we laughed, we drank more coffee (after I spilled it all over shoe) and successfully filled the trunk with Christmas gifts. Later that night I read this beautiful and timely Evening Blessing from Susie Larson, “May you – in spite of your mistakes and missteps – see how God’s love & provision more than cover you. May you – in your weakness – experience abounding grace that makes you divinely strong. Where you’ve experienced loss and brokenness, may you know healing, wholeness, and redemption. Your Redeemer is for you and He is strong. Sleep well tonight.” Sometimes things don’t go as planned. At least not according to our plans. However, we don’t have to let our circumstances dictate or steal our joy. In fact, God may have something even better in mind and he can always use what we offer to him, no matter how much we messed it up. We all make mistakes and experience disappointment, loss and pain. Some of us more deeply than others. Sometimes our course abruptly changes and we don’t always understand why. Maybe he is protecting us from something we know nothing about. And maybe he will use our pain for a purpose greater than we could ever imagine.  This is the day that the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it. Psalm 118:24 Author: Elizabeth

Free Dishes

Thankfulness /
Elizabeth / November 25, 2020

Dishes off Facebook Marketplace. More importantly, FREE dishes. They’re used…they have some chips. That’s okay, I’ll take them. We loaded them into my car and as if I needed to explain why I was accepting free dishes, I shared with the stranger that I recently left my home and it was just easier to leave the dishes. She asked how many kids I had and if this would be the only dishes we would have. I told her yes, but that it was okay, this set will be more than enough. She said she had another set and insisted I take those too. “I’ve been through two divorces and both times I left behind most of my things…I get it.” I breathed a sigh of relief and thanked her again. Then as I left she thoughtfully told me to message her if I ever wanted to talk. As I drove home with not one, but two, sets of free dishes clanking around in the back seat of my car, I reflected on how I have been blessed over and over by the kindness of others in the past few months. From family, friends and complete strangers. Both big things and little things. So to say I am grateful this Thanksgiving week is a huge understatement. I am in absolute AWE over how God cares for us and abundantly provides over and over. He uses the people in our lives and strangers that he intentionally places in our path to bless us and also to be a blessing. As we count our blessings this Thanksgiving, remember that we all have our stuff. Stuff we carry. Stuff we move. Stuff we leave behind. Stuff we need. Stuff we give. Stuff we receive. Some stuff is free and some costs us a great deal. And like free dishes, we all have chips. Some small and barely noticeable, and others big and ugly. There is one thing for certain though: God will use our stuff, chips and all, for something beautiful. “Our love for others is our grateful response to the love God first demonstrated to us.” 1 John 4:19 Author: Elizabeth

People Pleasing

Anxiety /
Crystal / August 10, 2020

The moment I read the words on screen, my heart started pounding, my muscles began to tense, and my mind began to race. This simple text message was intentionally designed to inflict pain onto our family. I began to question myself. What it is it about me that causes hatred from this person? What could I do differently? Why can’t we make this work? As an avid people pleaser and peacekeeper, I have a constant desire to maintain harmony among those around me. Sometimes in the process of pleasing others, I become lost in a cycle of anxious thoughts. There is a fine line between pleasing others and taking care of your own needs. As much as I would like to think that I can always be well liked and make everyone happy, the reality is that there will be people that are hard to get along with and sometimes people won’t like us no matter how much we try. When this happens, what can we do to stop the cycle of anxious thoughts? For me, mindfulness practices can be particularly helpful. I recently came across a writer who suggested using the acronym “OPEN” to process these anxious people pleasing thoughts. Kimberly Diaz-Rosso suggests the following: O = Observe Notice the feelings in your mind and body. First name the reactions that your body is experiencing, such as increased breathing or feeling a pit in of your stomach. Then notice your thinking and name those feelings – worry, fear, etc. Journaling these observations can also be helpful. P = Peace Use comforting words to bring peace to your mind and body. Examples: “I am deeply hurt and its ok to feel the way I do.” “What other people say and do is about them, not me.” You may even consider writing your chosen phrases down where you will see them as a reminder. E = Enjoy Take a deep breath and be still in the calmness of mind and body. N = Nature Say: “The moment has passed and now I am at peace. This is my true nature.” If you practice another faith, I encourage you to incorporate those teachings into this “OPEN” framework. It may provide more peace and meaning for you. You are not alone in the cycle of anxious thoughts. Take moment to acknowledge these thoughts, process, and release. We would love to hear what has worked for you! Be kind to yourself today. Author: Crystal You can read Kimberly Diaz-Rosso full article here.