Hope in a Hopeless World

Mental Health Outreach

Category: Anxiety

Sitting with Pain

Anxiety, Depression, Hope, Pain & Purpose, You are not alone /
Crystal / June 9, 2025

“Why does it have to be me?!” my oldest child cried out, hunched over the toilet in pain. My heart ached with empathy. My immediate internal reaction was something like, “Well, this kind of thing happens to everyone eventually.” But I quickly caught myself—because when we’re in pain, those kinds of truths don’t always help. In the thick of discomfort, logic often falls flat. Pain doesn’t want reason—it wants relief, or at the very least, to be seen. And I realized: maybe the most helpful response is somewhere in between our gut reactions and our attempts to fix things. Maybe what we need is simple, compassionate presence. A gentle middle ground. So I sat beside him and said, “It’s painful… and it will pass.” No magic fix. No denying the reality of what he was feeling. Just a moment of shared humanness and hope. As I sat with him, I couldn’t help but think about how often this happens in life—not just with stomachaches, but with heartbreak, anxiety, grief, and all the other invisible pains we carry. How often do we, or the people we love, cry out in frustration or despair:“Why me?”“Why now?”“Why this?” And how often do we scramble to respond with advice, solutions, or silver linings?“Everything happens for a reason.”“At least it’s not worse.”“You’ll get through it.” These words usually come from a place of love, but they can land wrong—too soon, too sharp, too distant. When someone is in the depths of pain, what they need most isn’t a roadmap out. They need to know they’re not alone inside it. We don’t have to fix everything. We can meet others right where they are—with presence, not pressure. “This hurts.”“I see you.”“You’re not alone in this.”“It’s hard right now.” There’s quiet power in that kind of response. A power that heals in small, steady ways. It doesn’t change the pain, but it changes the experience of carrying it. Sometimes the most healing thing we can offer ourselves and others is our presence and a quiet reminder: This is hard… and it will pass.

When Fear Stares Back

Anxiety, PTSD /
Crystal / May 25, 2025

The sense that we weren’t alone gripped me anyway, humming in my chest like a warning bell. But we continued forward into the stillness of our dimly lit, secluded yard. Night walks like these had become a ritual — not always welcome, but necessary — thanks to aging bladders and unpredictable sleep cycles. The air was thick with silence, not peaceful, but eerie. Even the trees seemed to lean in, listening.   As she began circling her third potential bathroom spot, I felt a ripple of annoyance mixed with anxiety. Could she please just pick one already? Finally, she settled. Relief washed over me. Soon I’d be back under warm blankets, safe from whatever strange tension was crawling up my spine.   I glanced up from the dark grass — and froze.   Another set of eyes met mine. Deep black, oval-shaped, staring back from a light-brown, fur-covered face. A deer. Statuesque. Still.   We locked eyes, both unmoving. Neither of us expected the other. It had let us get so close — too close — without bolting. Why?   I became aware of the tightness in my shoulders, the tension in my jaw. I was holding my breath.   Meanwhile, my dog, nose to the ground, remained blissfully unaware, lost in the comforting routine of sniffing and sorting smells. I gently redirected her back toward the house, glancing once more over my shoulder. The deer hadn’t moved. It stood frozen, just like I had moments before.   But here’s what that moment reminded me: our senses are wise, but they are not always precise. They carry the echoes of our past — trauma, stress, loss, learned vigilance. They serve us by being alert, but if we don’t learn to meet them with curiosity instead of panic, they can also lead us astray.   Just like I didn’t bolt when I sensed something, just like the deer didn’t flee when it saw us — we both paused. We noticed. We waited. There was a silent agreement in that moment that movement wasn’t the answer — presence was. This is something I’ve been learning in my own mental health journey: to be aware of what I feel without letting it define the story. To trust my instincts, but not to let them run unchecked. To ask: What am I really afraid of? Is this fear asking for action — or attention?   Sometimes, like that deer, we need to pause in stillness. Sometimes, like my old dog, we just need to do what’s in front of us — smell the ground, go through our routine — and keep moving. And sometimes, like me on that cold night, we need to trust that we can feel afraid and still return to safety without running.   That night, nothing dramatic happened. But it stuck with me. Because it reminded me that fear doesn’t always mean danger. Sometimes, it just means be here now.   And that’s enough.

Cupboard Doors

Anxiety, OCD /
Job W / June 30, 2021

Walking into the house, I immediately noticed the two kitchen cupboard doors that were left open.  It’s fine. I think to myself. Cupboard doors are not a big deal.  I walk past the kitchen, I stop in the living room to greet my two boys who are overjoyed to see me and then I head toward the bedroom to change out of my work clothes.  The cupboard doors are not hurting anything. They can stay open. The thoughts won’t stop. I have a strong urge to shut the cupboard doors. Everything must be in order.  I walk back outside to join my wife on the front patio. As we are talking about our day, the frustration, fear, and anxiety continue to rise in my chest. During a break in conversation, I walk back inside and briskly walk to the kitchen shutting the two kitchen cupboard doors. The anxiety lifts slightly, but the frustration remains.  Why do I have this obsessive need to have everything in order?  Where does the fear of things being out of order come from? And why can I not control these thoughts?  Obsessive Compulsive Disorder was a confusing disorder for me to understand when I was first diagnosed. I now understand that I have unwanted thoughts and sensations that occur within my body that cause me to repeat or fixate on order and perfection. Sometimes the sensations that occur within my body are unconscious making it extra confusing.  At the surface, it feels like tragedy will occur if things are not in the perfect order. Something tragic will happen if I do not close the cupboard doors. Rationally I understand that nothing horrible is going to occur if those cupboard doors are left open. Sometimes I even laugh at myself for this absurd thought.  However, when I think through the root cause for this development, I gain more insight into what is occurring. My body has a good memory. Sometimes my body remembers things better than my mind.  Tracing this reaction back to years ago. Things being out of order in the military especially on deployment to Iraq, often meant that tragedy could and would occur. While I may not be fully aware in the moment that cupboard doors or other things out of order are causing a trigger response from past experiences, my body remembers the out of control feeling.  OCD is a mental illness that can be confusing to live with and has many myths and misunderstandings surrounding it. For me, understanding what is occurring is a good first step in coping. I still struggle with managing these symptoms but have a better understanding of what’s going on and am able to not let it control my everyday life. Author: Job

Insight and Awareness

Anosognosia, Anxiety /
Crystal / April 12, 2021

The first hot day of the year was a few days ago. I stepped outside with my two boys and felt the warm sun on my face. It was lovely. As we continued to play outside, that pleasant feeling was eventually replaced with tightness in my chest, difficulty breathing, sweating, and sluggishness. Heat has always been hard for me. Without warning these physical symptoms that the warm weather brought, were joined by unwanted memories, worry, and fear. As I took a seat on the ground, I recognized this feeling as an anxiety attack. I continued to gaze over at my kids embracing this warm day and I used the skills that I have learned and developed over the years. I began taking some deep grounding breaths, noticing the sturdy ground beneath me, and reminding myself that I am safe and secure. The feelings of fear and anxiety pass quickly this time and I reflect on the physical changes that just occurred in my body. As I continue to learn about my own mental illness, I am realizing the importance of insight and education. Learning more about the how and why can have a significant impact on recovery and coping. Summer and hot weather can trigger those anxiety symptoms and build into an anxiety attack. Without insight, that feeling of impending danger may stick around longer. A new term for us at Hope in a Hopeless World is “Anosognosia” meaning experience of “‘lack of insight’ or ‘lack of awareness,’” (NAMI, 2021). We may all experience this symptom from time to time and the severity may vary depending on the person or illness. Taking some time to learn about our body, our reactions, and our illnesses, can be an important part of effective management. Consider these reflective questions: Where do I feel discomfort in my body? What is my body telling me? What are my next steps? For me, journaling, prayer, self-reflection, breathing exercises, yoga, medication, and therapy have been helpful in my journey. You are not alone in this! There is hope <3 Author: Crystal

People Pleasing

Anxiety /
Crystal / August 10, 2020

The moment I read the words on screen, my heart started pounding, my muscles began to tense, and my mind began to race. This simple text message was intentionally designed to inflict pain onto our family. I began to question myself. What it is it about me that causes hatred from this person? What could I do differently? Why can’t we make this work? As an avid people pleaser and peacekeeper, I have a constant desire to maintain harmony among those around me. Sometimes in the process of pleasing others, I become lost in a cycle of anxious thoughts. There is a fine line between pleasing others and taking care of your own needs. As much as I would like to think that I can always be well liked and make everyone happy, the reality is that there will be people that are hard to get along with and sometimes people won’t like us no matter how much we try. When this happens, what can we do to stop the cycle of anxious thoughts? For me, mindfulness practices can be particularly helpful. I recently came across a writer who suggested using the acronym “OPEN” to process these anxious people pleasing thoughts. Kimberly Diaz-Rosso suggests the following: O = Observe Notice the feelings in your mind and body. First name the reactions that your body is experiencing, such as increased breathing or feeling a pit in of your stomach. Then notice your thinking and name those feelings – worry, fear, etc. Journaling these observations can also be helpful. P = Peace Use comforting words to bring peace to your mind and body. Examples: “I am deeply hurt and its ok to feel the way I do.” “What other people say and do is about them, not me.” You may even consider writing your chosen phrases down where you will see them as a reminder. E = Enjoy Take a deep breath and be still in the calmness of mind and body. N = Nature Say: “The moment has passed and now I am at peace. This is my true nature.” If you practice another faith, I encourage you to incorporate those teachings into this “OPEN” framework. It may provide more peace and meaning for you. You are not alone in the cycle of anxious thoughts. Take moment to acknowledge these thoughts, process, and release. We would love to hear what has worked for you! Be kind to yourself today. Author: Crystal You can read Kimberly Diaz-Rosso full article here.

Morning Anxiety

Anxiety, Work Struggles, You are not alone /
Crystal / October 5, 2018

After I posted “Monday Morning Blues” I heard from many of you that share similar morning struggles. Thank you for sharing your heart and hardships with me. The very next Monday, I did call into work for debilitating anxiety and an overwhelming feeling of “I just can’t today.” Morning anxiety had struck again. It wasn’t just Mondays it was starting to be Every. Single. Day. Inspired by your shared experiences, I set out to find ways to decrease this anxiety. After some internet research and a consult in my weekly therapy appointment, I had created a list of simple changes. Changes that I set out to test in the following weeks. If you struggle with morning anxiety, I would encourage you to try a few of the tips below. Prepare for the morning the best you can the night before.For me this meant, sitting down and making a list of everything that I have to do in the morning and then moving as much as I could to the night before. This included picking out my clothes, picking out my child’s clothes, making sure my coffee mug was washed, pre-setting the coffee maker, getting my lunch ready, packing my child’s bag for school, showering, and picking up any items that I did not want chewed up by my loving, hyper, destructive dogs.The visual list also made it easy for me to communicate to my husband. When he asked what he could help with, there was a tangible list instead of an “I don’t know how you can help me.” Schedule Breaks!Make breaks a priority no matter what you are doing that day. In the last 30 minutes of my work day, I started writing out a to-do list for the next day. Attaching times to each item so that I would not overbook myself. Scheduling 15-minute breaks in the middle of that schedule, was a great way to break up my day. By creating my work to-do list and break schedule the night before, I did not wake up thinking about all the things I needed to get done. I knew that I had already prioritized the list the day before. Meditation. Faith. Relaxation. Settle your mind by focusing in on meditation, guided muscle relaxation, faith-based readings, journaling, deep breathing. It doesn’t take long to do a quick guided meditation or reading. Allow yourself to have 5-10 minutes to yourself and focus on quieting your mind. For me this included meditation on my favorite faith readings, verses, or listening to guided meditations. Sleep. Go to bed at the same time every night and get up at the same time every morning. Including weekends. I didn’t think that as an adult I needed to have a “bedtime.” However, the routine of going to bed and waking up at the same time each day has provided much needed structure and habit to the weeks. Set a timer at night if you need to remind yourself it’s time to go to sleep. If falling asleep or staying asleep is difficult, seek help from a mental health provider or physician. Practice Positive ThinkingNegative thinking is a habit that needs to be broken. This can be changed by re-training our minds to positive thinking. Recognizing the negative thoughts for what they are and changing them to something positive is hard in the moment. Having encouragements and positives reminders hanging where you can read them in the mornings can be a subtle reminder. Instead of opening a social media app on the phone right away in the morning, I reach for a daily verse app for some positive support. If your anxiety becomes debilitation and interfering with your family life, your work, or other activities I would encourage you to seek help from a mental health professional or spiritual advisor. Talk to someone about your specific needs. Every person is different. Allow yourself to explore what works for you. Give yourself permission to be human, feel the low moments and be grateful for the small things. We are not alone in our morning struggles and we can take the control back. Author: Crystal

Monday Morning Blues

Anxiety, Work Struggles, You are not alone /
Crystal / September 17, 2018

Monday Mornings. Enough said? Staring at my computer screen this morning, I wonder why I seem to hate my job on Mondays. There’s this sense of dread that comes the second I wake up. I like my job. Right? Waiting for my computer screen to turn on, I try to remember why I get up so early in the morning to tackle the long never-ending to-do lists. What’s the point? My mind becomes overwhelmed by the amount of emails, phone calls, voicemail messages, and stack of over-due tasks that are waiting for me. As I continue to watch the welcome screen-saver spin, my mind begins to plot ways to decrease my work hours. Should I call in to work today? Or is a career change needed? Should I work part-time? Maybe I am not enough. Searching for a pen to take notes on the voicemails received over the weekend, my eyes land on a gift from a friend. A small wooden sign that reads: Today I will be strong, brave, kind, and unstoppable. Today I will be fierce. A subtle reminder that I chose how I approach this day. Not my to-do list, not my voicemails, not even my mood. Quickly I use my pen to jot down the reasons that I chose to come to work this morning. I find renewed purpose in the big picture. Renewed power and control. I take a moment to be grateful for all the blessings that come from my job, before tackling today’s work. I am enough. I might not be perfect. I might have overwhelming moments or days. And I will have days of unproductivity. But I am enough. What are you showing up for today? It is a job? Stay at home parenting? A medical appointment? An interview? Home tasks? Are you at home feeling alone? Or overwhelmed by others this morning? You get to decide how you choose to tackle the day. You get to decide that you are enough today. Your worth is not measured by your abilities or productivity. Look for the hope that comes from within on this Monday morning. Make a list of what motivates you. And be at peace with tasks that go un-done today. Author: Crystal

The Highs. The Lows.

Anxiety, Depression, Featured, You are not alone /
Crystal / August 31, 2018

I love the days when my spirit is high, and my motivation level is in it’s prime. These are the days that I feel accomplished, not needing the reassurance or reminders of my worth. On my good days, I feel like a productive member of society. Yesterday was that day. Yesterday, I felt good about life. Today? Today, I woke up with a pit in my stomach, anxiety rising in my chest, and a cycle of inner voices telling me that I am not good enough. The house is still quiet, I walk over to the closet and stare at my clothes. Everything feels so far out of reach. After settling for jeans and a basic shirt, I find myself begging for energy, strength, motivation just to remain standing. Lowering myself to the ground, the tears cannot be stopped. Yesterday was a good day and today just started. What is my deal? No one should have to deal with me. No one should have to put up with my highs only to be disappointed by my extreme lows. The highs. The lows. Sometimes every day is a new battle. Those around me don’t know if they will get the cheerful, motivational, let’s tackle the world woman that they know and love, or the don’t touch me, don’t talk to me, don’t expect much of me woman that I know and dread. The low days sneak around the corner and remind me of my weaknesses. They often appear with no warning and leave me questioning my value. Leaving me tearful, resistant, distracted, and frustrated. The inner voice on the low days tells me to hide. Don’t let them see you. They don’t want to hear your troubles. It tells me that I am a burden to those around me. I have become an expert hider. I would win at the game of hide and seek when it’s emotions that we are hiding. I can bury my emotions so deep that no one will find them. But what is the value in hiding? Where does the motivation to hide our low feelings come from? If I had a cold, I would likely openly share my discomfort. I would feel no embarrassment or shame in telling those around me the reason for feeling out of sorts. The symptoms of a physical condition are easy to share, easy to point out, and easy to explain. The symptoms of mental illness or a low day, are not as easy to explain and can leave behind the feeling of isolation. The feeling that no one could possibly understand. I want you to hear this: You are not alone. You are not a burden. You have a right to feel the low days and share your pain. You do not have to hide. Don’t be embarrassed or afraid to let your true self shine. The highs, the lows, they do not define your worth. You are more then a sum of your emotions. Emotions are a part of being human. They are natural and beautiful. They allow us to express and release the tensions brewing inside. I know firsthand that it is difficult, and I would like to encourage you today to stop hiding and start sharing your real, raw, wonderfully made self with those closest to you. Author: Crystal

Attack in the Night

Anxiety /
Elizabeth / July 25, 2018

Chest pain, shortness of breath, upset stomach, on the verge of tears. I forgot how terrible this feeling is. I remember feeling paralyzed by these feelings in the past. Paralyzed by the silent, fierce attacker that gives no warning. Tonight it is keeping me awake. I fall asleep for a few minutes only to be jolted awake by the sound of a car alarm. I move around our bed unsure at first of where I was and if it was a dream or reality. Thankfully the beeping stops, but then my husband quickly enters our large master bedroom to peek out the front window that overlooks our driveway. My heart is beating fast now, almost as fast as my thoughts. We exchange a short conversation about what just happened. He seems concerned that the alarm went off, saying, “It doesn’t just do that for no reason.” I ask if there are dogs barking. He doesn’t know, but I’m sure I heard the neighbor’s dogs barking at the sound of the alarm. As if I need another worry to keep me up at night. A massive flood of emotions and thoughts come rushing through my body and my head at full force and I am sure it will be a sleepless night. Fast forward a few months and my attacker has followed me again. While enjoying a beautiful evening of music this summer, my husband and I decide to venture into the standing only section to get a closer view of one of our favorite bands, For King & Country. They are the headliner of the music festival, the last band of the weekend, and you can feel the anticipation in the air. We stand together as the sun begins to set and the air cools. At the same time I can feel the crowd growing thicker and thicker, closer and closer. All of a sudden the air feels heavy, my heart rate quickens, my palms get sweaty, and the sounds and smells of the strangers around me become increasingly louder and overwhelming. Even though I’m aware that there is no real threat of danger, thoughts of unlikely situations start racing through my mind. I close my eyes and start taking deep breaths to help calm myself down. Sensing my restlessness, my husband asks if I’m okay and takes hold of my hand to comfort me. I would feel horrible leaving after waiting for so long, but all I want to do is run out of there. Finally, the white curtain is lit, shadows of large drums appear, and the band’s signature entrance begins. My attacker is distracted for the moment, but still looms in the background ready to rear its ugly head at any moment. Recently, as I went through some boxes of paperwork in preparation for our upcoming move, I came across some old medical records. There it was, typed in simple words, no different than my height and weight listed the same page: Anxiety Disorder. My first ever mental health diagnosis. Anxiety is the name of this attacker, and sometimes, like some kind of metaphysical werewolf, it morphs into a full blown panic attack. Its abrupt interruption and lingering presence can be life altering. It is a silent, but strong force that affects the lives of many people I know and love. This attacker is not discriminatory. It can impact the young and the old, men and women, single or married, career-driven or stay-at-home parents. It isn’t convenient or welcome, but it will show up anyway, regardless of the place or time, and stop us dead in our tracks. The overwhelming weight of anxiety can be debilitating, and many times even those closest to us do not know or understand what is happening within us. It is important for us to try to explain what we’re feeling because as with any disease, you don’t know what it’s really like until you’ve experienced it yourself. There are many people who haven’t had the pleasure (ha!) of first-hand experience with a mental illness, but they truly do care and want to try to understand. There will be people who will say hurtful things. They might dismiss and undermine our feelings saying things like, “You worry too much” or “You’re just stressed out” or “You just need to relax.” As hard as it might be, let’s give them grace. Perhaps they want to help, but don’t know what to do or what to say. Accept that no one is perfect and even if they don’t completely understand, that doesn’t mean that they don’t love and care about you. Let’s be transparent and open up the dialogue. This does not show weakness, it shows strength. It can be truly refreshing and healing. This is a place of acceptance, support and love. We would love to hear your story. In the comments below, share how anxiety or another mental illness has affected your life, and some ways that you have been able to overcome.