As a social worker, people come to me with hard, if not impossible, problems to solve. Sometimes I have the answers to those problems. Sometimes I am called an angel, lifesaver, or hero. Other times, I fail to help the fragile or hurting person before me.  It is not from a lack of trying.  In fact, it’s these impossible problems that have no clear solution that keep me up at night. Laying awake problem solving long after my work day is over.

These are the times that I can hear the disappointment and helplessness. I was their last resort and I failed. Instead of lifesaver, I hear failure, destroyer, bearer of bad news. Sometimes the person on the receiving end lets me know how much I failed them but most of the time it comes from with in.

Its exhausting caring and constantly thinking about the needs of others. 

The drive to help in any way possible sent me spiraling down an overwhelming path. With each step I took I added more tasks, more stories, and more heartbreak to the pile. Every new story caused me to leave a piece of my heart behind.   

During those overwhelming and emotional days, I forgot a few important truths:

It’s not my job to solve the impossible. 

No one can run on empty.

There are things that I can do to protect my heart and show compassion.

If you are in a helping profession, a caregiver, or generally like to help others, we need your compassionate heart in this world.

In order to maintain that compassionate heart, you have to take care of it just like any other part of your body.

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Here are a few things to keep in mind as your head out into the world:

Be kind to yourself.

You are human. You cannot solve the impossible. Be content knowing that you are doing the best you can. There is enough negativity to go around. Work on getting rid of negative self-talk and strive to feed your mind positive things.

Learn more.

Learn about symptoms of compassion fatigue. Notice how your body is responding in different situations. Awareness to reactions and symptoms reduces the impact.

Set personal boundaries and work hours. 

This is not being selfish. In fact, if you continue to over work and over commit, then you will quickly burn yourself out. The best thing you can do for others is model good self-care. If you take care of your own needs first, you will be more equipped to help someone else. This starts with setting personal boundaries and work hours and sticking to them.

Schedule self-care.

Put self-care on the calendar like you would any other important task. This should be your number one priority. If you want to continue helping people, you must make your own self-care a priority. Plan to take breaks through out the day. Set aside time that is just for you. Take a walk, do a meditation, read a book; something that will refocus on your own personal needs.

Seek someone who will listen and understand.

Talk about it! Find a trusted colleague, friend, advisor, spiritual leader, or counselor and discuss the impacts of compassion fatigue. Talk about how your mind and body are affected by caring for others. Releasing the thoughts from your mind can be very healing.

Leave toxic environments.

Sometimes the environment that we have chosen to work in is unhealthy. Be aware of unhealthy work environments and choose to build resiliency to those impacts or remove yourself from that situation. If you are working for someone that has unrealistic expectations, insufficient supervision, unsafe physical space, and generally doesn’t abide by best work place practices keep in mind that this is not a personal failure. Know your own limits and don’t take the heat for unrealistic practices.

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Accept the limits of being human. Help those you can and trust that others will do the same. The problems of those in front of you do not fall on your shoulders alone.

Continue to care about people, just make sure that you are caring about yourself too!

Author: Crystal