Hope in a Hopeless World

Mental Health Outreach

Author: Crystal

Hi, I'm Crystal. I am a wife to an amazing husband, a mom of two beautiful boys, and a social worker with a passion to help people. Among many other things, I also live with mental illness. Depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder, eating disorder, and vicarious trauma. Whoa - what a mouth full. These disorders have had a major impact on my life. It is my mission to share my experiences with others to prove that you are not alone in this battle.

Compassion Fatigue

Compassion Fatigue, Support for Family and Friends, Tips, Work Struggles /
Crystal / March 25, 2019

As a social worker, people come to me with hard, if not impossible, problems to solve. Sometimes I have the answers to those problems. Sometimes I am called an angel, lifesaver, or hero. Other times, I fail to help the fragile or hurting person before me.  It is not from a lack of trying.  In fact, it’s these impossible problems that have no clear solution that keep me up at night. Laying awake problem solving long after my work day is over. These are the times that I can hear the disappointment and helplessness. I was their last resort and I failed. Instead of lifesaver, I hear failure, destroyer, bearer of bad news. Sometimes the person on the receiving end lets me know how much I failed them but most of the time it comes from with in. Its exhausting caring and constantly thinking about the needs of others.  The drive to help in any way possible sent me spiraling down an overwhelming path. With each step I took I added more tasks, more stories, and more heartbreak to the pile. Every new story caused me to leave a piece of my heart behind.    During those overwhelming and emotional days, I forgot a few important truths: It’s not my job to solve the impossible.  No one can run on empty. There are things that I can do to protect my heart and show compassion. If you are in a helping profession, a caregiver, or generally like to help others, we need your compassionate heart in this world. In order to maintain that compassionate heart, you have to take care of it just like any other part of your body. Here are a few things to keep in mind as your head out into the world: Be kind to yourself. You are human. You cannot solve the impossible. Be content knowing that you are doing the best you can. There is enough negativity to go around. Work on getting rid of negative self-talk and strive to feed your mind positive things. Learn more. Learn about symptoms of compassion fatigue. Notice how your body is responding in different situations. Awareness to reactions and symptoms reduces the impact. Set personal boundaries and work hours.  This is not being selfish. In fact, if you continue to over work and over commit, then you will quickly burn yourself out. The best thing you can do for others is model good self-care. If you take care of your own needs first, you will be more equipped to help someone else. This starts with setting personal boundaries and work hours and sticking to them. Schedule self-care. Put self-care on the calendar like you would any other important task. This should be your number one priority. If you want to continue helping people, you must make your own self-care a priority. Plan to take breaks through out the day. Set aside time that is just for you. Take a walk, do a meditation, read a book; something that will refocus on your own personal needs. Seek someone who will listen and understand. Talk about it! Find a trusted colleague, friend, advisor, spiritual leader, or counselor and discuss the impacts of compassion fatigue. Talk about how your mind and body are affected by caring for others. Releasing the thoughts from your mind can be very healing. Leave toxic environments. Sometimes the environment that we have chosen to work in is unhealthy. Be aware of unhealthy work environments and choose to build resiliency to those impacts or remove yourself from that situation. If you are working for someone that has unrealistic expectations, insufficient supervision, unsafe physical space, and generally doesn’t abide by best work place practices keep in mind that this is not a personal failure. Know your own limits and don’t take the heat for unrealistic practices. Accept the limits of being human. Help those you can and trust that others will do the same. The problems of those in front of you do not fall on your shoulders alone. Continue to care about people, just make sure that you are caring about yourself too! Author: Crystal

Marriage Crisis

Marriage /
Crystal / March 23, 2019

Every marriage faces challenges at some point along the way. How those challenges are navigated will predict relationship survival. While there are certainly situations that require someone to leave their marriage, make choices about your marriage that are based in wisdom keeping your values and safety at the forefront. What if separation and divorce wasn’t the answer to all marriage crises? What if you can heal and repair even from betrayal, addiction, or drift? A marriage crisis doesn’t mean that your marriage has to be over, but you likely will not be able to tackle it alone. My husband and I have been through our share of marriage struggles and most days we are grateful for our trials because it has moved us to where we are now. There is something about hitting rock bottom that makes you appreciate life and wellness. For those of you struggling through problems or working toward healing, you are not alone in that struggle. What helped us when our marriage hit crisis level? 1. Allowing Time to Heal. No matter what struggles have hit in your marriage. Allow yourself time to feel those emotions. Don’t feel guilty about being angry, betrayed, sad, or even irrational at times. Seek healthy ways to release those emotions. Things that I found helpful were journaling, talking to others that have been there, joining community support groups, prayer, uplifting music, and reading books or articles related to my struggles. 2. Owning Our Part. Before we could think about working on repairing our marriage, we had to focus on individual wellbeing. Both my husband and I attended individual therapy to address our mental health concerns, mourn our losses, and work through the pain and betrayal. We attended individual therapy for 6 months before addressing any marriage concerns together. This will look different for each situation, but it is an important first step. It’s hard to work on something together if you haven’t first reflected on your own part and allowed yourself to feel all the emotions that come with it. It’s important to have time for self-reflection and healing. 3. Learning More. It was helpful to read or talk to others that have experienced similar situations. There is something so comforting in knowing that you are not the only one to go through this. I was surprised to find a community of people that have had similar experiences. It was encouraging to see people that had hit the same rock bottom as me and made it through. Reading self-help articles and personal testimonies was an important step in the healing process. 4. Seek Professional Help. Friends and family are important to the healing process, but you also need a non-bias opinion and facilitator to navigate these tough issues. Find a marriage counselor that fits well with your goals and beliefs for your marriage. A professional guide through conflict conversations will help process and sort those feelings. 5. Letting Go of Society Judgement. Choosing the unpopular choice can be hard. No matter what you decide, there is always going to be someone judging your choices. It’s easy for people to say “I would never be able too….” “Why would you….?” Or “If it were me I would….” The fact of the matter is that they are not you. They have not walked your path. Let go of any judgement that you may feel and seek to make a wise decision that is not based on others opinions or perceived judgment on your situation. 6. Seeking Forgiveness. This is a tough one especially if you are feeling betrayed by your spouse. Don’t rush the process. Allow yourself to feel the emotions but be careful to not base decisions in those emotions. Emotions can cause decisions that we will regret later. After you have allowed yourself to feel those painful emotions and allowed time for healing, then it may be time to think about forgiveness. Forgiveness for yourself and for your spouse. This does not mean that you agree with any wrong done to you. Forgiveness is a complicated process. Don’t be hard on yourself if it takes a while to get there. It is worth striving for because the feeling will be so freeing. 7. Explore Spirituality Together. This was the glue that held us together. Our marriage would not be what it is today if we hadn’t grounded our marriage in faith. It’s worth exploring and finding out what you believe, not what others have told you to believe. Every single marriage has problems at some point. If your marriage is struggling, let go of the guilt and know that it is normal. Evaluate honestly and come up with a plan to move forward. Don’t ignore the problem and wait for it to pass. There is a lot that is said in the silence. Choose intentional messages centered in wisdom. Hope can be found in the pain, you just have to know where to look. Author: Crystal You may also be interested in: Click here for more articles on marriage.

Dear Husband

Love. Joy. Kindness, Marriage, Self Worth /
Crystal / February 11, 2019

Dear Husband, I know the world may make you feel unworthy. The world may see you as just another. Another man caught in the troubles of life. One that is bogged down by mistakes and trials. They see another marriage torn by unfaithful actions. Another dad to a blended family. The world may see the imperfections. They may say you are unworthy. There will be times that you are dismissed and judged. You may have to prove yourself again and again. You will have to re-explain your story and see the judgement in the eyes of every new person. The confusion and surprise will continue when you must explain yet again your family structure and trials you are facing. There will be days that you feel the guilt of these mistakes.   There will be days that you feel worthless. I need you to know that this is not what I see. I see the power of redemption. I see a man that lost his way and allowed grace and forgiveness to transform. Someone who cares deeply about those around him and fights everyday to overcome the mistakes and nightmares of the past. I see the courageous way that you allow the world to see your mistakes and risk the harsh judgement that may follow. As for me I choose to see the greatness that has always been there. I choose to see the man of integrity, courage, kindness, and love. Let the world believe what they will. You will continue to prove them wrong and win people over. You are aiming for long term solutions not short term praise. Continue to fight for what you believe in and provide encouragement to those around you. Your family will be standing at your side. You are valued. You are loved. You are worthy. Love, Your Wife.

Someone you Love is Living with Depression

Depression, Support for Family and Friends /
Crystal / February 4, 2019

Chances are that someone in your life is living with depression. According to the ADAA (Anxiety and Depression Association of America), Depression effects 16.1 million adults in the US each year. Depression can be hard to see or explain, making it easy to ignore. What does depression look like? Depression can take form in many ways. If you are not around that person often, it’s possible that you may not notice anything different. Depression often will show up in little interest in life leading to inability to complete or keep up with daily life. For me, feelings of depression were masked by daily stressors. It was easy to come up with reasons for my low mood. Reflecting on that time, I can see that my choices for coping were ineffective. It felt like one day I was full of life and energy. I was happily married, baby on the way, working a rewarding job in social work, and “on track” with my life goals. Then a series of life events began to wear me down. Miscarriage, difficulty getting pregnant, and work stress were just a few weights that were added to my shoulders. Even with the added heartaches, I was still pushing through and trying to rise above, until depression and PTSD hit hard. Eventually our first child did come which proved to be far more difficult than anything that I imagined. There were gradual symptoms of depression and warning signs that were overlooked and rationalized away. It’s difficult to differentiate between normal exhaustion from pregnancy and a new baby and exhaustion from depression. It felt like one day I was doing great, the next day I wasn’t, and in a blink of an eye it was four years later. Four long, foggy years of untreated and ignored depression and PTSD. All my energy, drive, and interest were zapped out of me. Getting out of bed felt impossible. I was late to work often. Communication with those around me came to a complete halt and an internal battle began. My memories from those years are a blur. My life was on hold. The only tasks getting done were those needed for survival. Reality began to sink in when my husband and I began talking about divorce. Only then did I seek treatment. It became clear that I wasn’t the only one struggling with mental illness, my husband was too. Many hard lessons have been learned throughout the pain of mental illness and the healing process. I have gained insight into my marriage, effective communication, and healthy coping strategies.   And I have gained a community of people. A community that understands the struggle, the isolation, and the confusion that comes from an illness that can at times feel invisible. In talking with others that have struggled with depression, I gathered a list of common things that you should know about your loved one who is living with depression. What should you know about living with someone that has depression? Lack of interest is not personal. One of the main symptoms of depression is the lack of interest or desire in anything. Unfortunately, this includes people. Depression causes strain on relationships, often because the person that is living with depression stops showing an interest in their relationships. This leaves family and friends feeling personally attacked. This is not a personal dislike or lack of love for you, it’s simply a symptom of the illness. Low ability to finish (or start) tasks is not due to laziness. Someone that is living with depression is not choosing to be lazy. Depression can be just as debilitating as physical illness. Shift your mind to thinking about them with an illness. If they had cancer what would your expectation of them be? If they didn’t have depression, would their desire to help with basic chores look different? Listening is better than fixing. Mental illness can be very isolating and confusing to explain. If someone you suspect has a mental illness and they are talking to you about symptoms, it can be easy to want to offer advice or try to fix the problem. One of the biggest problems is finding someone who will listen without fixing.  Try using open-ended questions to encourage them to continue talking and active listening to show that you are interested in what they are saying. The best “fix” is often a listening ear that has no agenda. Communicate. If you feel like they are upset with you, don’t love you, or don’t care, then talk to them about those feelings. Be gentle, kind, and non-defensive. Chances are if they knew they were making you feel unloved, they would want to change that. Give them a chance to speak their truth without assuming for them. Grace, grace, grace. Mental illness is hard to navigate. Offer grace as much as possible. There is power in unconditional love and grace. Use that power to promote positive change and healthy thinking. Take care of yourself. You will get burnt out from caretaking if you don’t plan to take care of yourself. This may include treatment for your own needs, scheduled on-going time with friends/support group/church group, whatever you need to do to fill yourself up. Do not feel guilty about enjoying your time and practicing healthy boundaries. Modeling healthy self-care is a great first step to helping your loved one get through depression. Remember that this is not how it will always be.   Keep in mind that depression is an illness that is treatable, but it takes time. Even after symptoms improve, there may be hard days. Remind yourself that this is not how it will always be. You will have good days and bad days just like everything else in life. It’s tough watching those we love struggle with an illness. It’s even harder to understand an illness that can’t be easily seen or explained. You have a spirit of Power, Love, and Self-Control. Control your responses and offer love in …

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Darkness of Loneliness.

Depression, Marriage, You are not alone /
Crystal / January 26, 2019

When my husband and I decided to separate and talks of divorce begun, these became some of the loneliness days of my life. My world went from the chaos of being a wife and a mom, to a quiet house with little movement half of the time. I remember sitting in my 3-year-old’s room wondering who I am without my child here. Prior to the marital separation, there were days that I longed for a few moments of quiet, uninterrupted time. There were days when my mind was so deep into the darkness of depression that I thought running away from all my responsibilities would be the only way I would survive. But now here I was with no responsibilities and I didn’t feel better. I quickly realized that I was blaming the chaos of life for my low mood and little interest in life. With many of life’s responsibilities removed, I still had low energy, little interest in anything, and now a new feeling had surfaced: Loneliness. Looking back, I can see that the loneliness had crept in long before separating from my husband. Loneliness is one of those confusing emotions that can hit us when we are alone or even in the middle of a crowded room. It comes from not feeling connected with others or not being understood by those around you. It is one of the scariest places to live. Loneliness breathes life to hopelessness, diminished self-worth, and a cycle of unhealthy thinking. Thanksgiving of 2017 was a pivotal point in my journey. This would be the first major holiday away from my child. He would be spending the day with my soon-to-be ex husband and his family whom I still viewed as my own. The days leading up to Thanksgiving, I began to wonder if life was worth living. I hated who I was becoming and where my life was going. I was sitting on my bedroom floor feeling hopeless and alone, when my phone rang. It was my mom, who must have heard the pain in my voice and before I knew it, she was at my front door. She came with open arms and a bag full of food sent by the close friends she was with when she called. Don’t underestimate the impact of community and small acts of kindness. You never know when that simple phone, warm smile, or meal will be life changing for another person. In the months that followed, I decided that I needed to make some changes. I schedule an appointment with my therapist and began discussing ways to overcome the deep loneliness that I was feeling. I couldn’t change my life circumstances, but I could change how I approached it. I could take back the control over my life and be intentional about how I would spend my time. Ultimately these were the things that helped me the most: Talking about it. I scheduled weekly appointments with my therapist and was honest about how I was feeling. The power of talking should not be underestimated. You can pretend in front of strangers and acquaintances and even some family or friends, but someone should know your true feelings. Talk therapy has many benefits and was very effective for me. During these appointments I was also able to explore other avenues that would help me cope. Finding a community that understands. I joined a women’s group through my church and began to develop deep relationships with the ladies in that group. They would be a sturdy structure of support throughout the rough days ahead. This led to Elizabeth and I launching a Peer-Lead Mental Health Support group which then led to an online blog and mental health outreach. Journaling. Writing for me became therapeutic. There is a form of release that occurs from getting the thoughts and feelings out of my body and on to paper. I could let the true unfiltered thoughts and worries out of my mind, which allowed me to move past them. Learning more about mental health and spirituality. I began to read more about healthy thinking, symptoms of mental illness, and spirituality. Learning about why I was experiencing symptoms of mental illness and what I believed about spirituality was important for my journey through loneliness. I needed to learn for myself what my illness looked like and what I believed about this world. Loneliness is often an overlooked feeling that many don’t know how to respond to. I know that it can be overwhelming. There is hope. Continue to walk the path in front of you and trust that there is light at the end. Explore and find things along the way that help get you through the dark days. Join a support group, a church that you trust, confide in a friend or a therapist, begin to sort out your thoughts through journaling or learning. Do something that allows you to have control in your life. Author: Crystal

Navigating Conflict

Communication, Marriage, Support for Family and Friends, Tips /
Crystal / January 19, 2019

You’ve reflected on the issue at hand, decided that the person you have a conflict with will be receptive to an honest conversation, and determined the best time to talk. Now that the time is here, how should you go about it? Here are some quick tips to navigating those difficult conversations. 1 . Go in with an open mind. Let go of any strong feelings or attachments you have to your point of view. Be willing to change your mind. Before entering the conversation try journaling, reflecting, prayer, mediation, or listening to music. Do your best to clear your mind before entering the conversation. 2 . Focus on preserving your relationship, not being right. It’s easy to get focused on our opinions and what we believe is best. Take a step back before entering the conversation and think about the relationship that you have with that person. Is the conflict at hand worth ruining your relationship? If the answer is no, respond with the relationship in mind. 3 . Take breaks. Notice Triggers. If at any time during the conversation you feel yourself in the fight, flight, or freeze response that may be an indication that you have been triggered and need to take a break. Remaining calm and kind during a conflict conversation is crucial to making both sides feel respected and productive. Take a break to re-center your mind. 4 . Be quick to listen. Be curious about the other person’s point of view. Ask them to share their thoughts on the issue and really listen to them. Repeat back to them what you heard them say without judgement or additions. Do not try to tell them why they are wrong or why their ideas won’t work. The goal is to gain an understanding of their point of view not argue your point. 5 . Ask for your opinions to be heard. After you have taken the time to actively listen to the other person’s point of view. Ask them to listen to your thoughts. Tell them that they don’t have to agree with you. Just ask for them to listen and try to understand your point of view. 6 . Evaluate Honestly. If the evidence provided causes you to change your mind, be open to that. It takes a strong person to let go of their pride and admit that they were wrong. Be that strong person when the opportunity arises. You might be surprised at how good it feels to let go of your pride and take on a humble stance. Alternatively, if the other person changes their mind, don’t gloat about being right. Remember that we are focusing on the relationship with the other person, and not on winning the conflict. 7 . Best plans come from compromise. Most of the time there is going to be good reasons on both sides of the conflict. The beauty about being human is that we all come with our different values, beliefs, experiences, gifts, and talents. On our own we may be able to do some good things, but together we can do amazing things. After each person has shared their background and stance on the issue, brainstorm possibly solutions to the problem. Maybe even write all the solutions down without judgement. Then discuss which ones each person could live with as a compromise. 8 . Plan to revisit. Schedule a time to revisit this conversation. Sometimes trial and error is needed to come to a solutions that is best. Check-in to see if the solution is working for both parties. If the solution is not working, discuss concerns and possible alternative solutions.

Healthy Conflict.

Communication, Marriage /
Crystal / January 14, 2019

My husband is a republican military veteran and is married to me a democratic social worker. Is that not the definition of confliction? Based on debates and interactions that I have witnessed, we should be in constant conflict, anger, and disagreement. Conflict is one of those hard to navigate facets of life that comes around more then we would like it to. Conflict finds us at home, at work, at the store, when we expect it, and when we don’t. It’s not going away, so what are our options? What is the best way to navigate conflict? Ignore the Problem. Ignoring the problem may keep us in our comfort zone and away from highly confrontational interactions that some of us dread and avoid at all costs. This may be appropriate in some situations, however, before using this as your go to response you may want to consider a few things. Consider the relationship you have with that person and the impact of the conflict. Is this a relationship that you value? Is the conflict in question one that will have major impacts on your daily life? If so, ignoring the issue at hand, may be setting yourself up for increased tensions and growing hatred. Your silence may tell that person that you agree with the way they talked to you or with how they are handling a situation. They will likely continue with that behavior not knowing that they upset you. Naturally you will become increasingly annoyed, and they will be oblivious. You may even begin keeping score with someone that doesn’t know they are playing the game. Demand your Opinion be Heard. If ignoring it makes your insides boil, you may choose to boil over and demand that your opinions be heard. All those built up feelings are no longer eating you away and the other person knows exactly how you feel. If your goal is to create a trusting, lasting, working relationship, you may want to reconsider. The person on the receiving end will likely leave that interaction feeling run over and unheard. You may have just lost trust with that person and the chances of them sharing their true feelings and opinions with you in the future has just drastically decreased. Passive-Aggressive Hints. If ignoring the problem leaves your feelings trapped inside and demanding to be heard leaves those you care about insecure, it’s only natural that the middle ground that many resort to is passive-aggressive hints. This style of addressing conflict allows you to keep the peace in the moment and then quietly hint toward change later. The downside is that the other person will be left to guess and generally we as people are horrible guessers. This leaves a lot of room for error. Your hints may be misinterpreted, taken as offensive, or missed all together. You might escape the initial conversation, but most likely you will still feel the tension rising. Honest, Open Conversation. Leaving someone guessing may work in some situations, when the other is very perceptive and can roll with the hints. What happens the rest of the time when the other person does not understand the hidden messages? What happens when the perceptive person gets tired of guessing and they stop trying? Perhaps you could try an open conversation. Allow each person to truly express their opinions and feelings without judgement to resolve the conflict while preserving the relationship. You will find that this style of addressing conflict may be the most productive and the most vulnerable. In order to effectively talk about the conflict, you will have to be willing to share how you are feeling and the impacts on you. Then be ready to accept how the other person is feeling without reacting defensively. The more you practice being honest and kind the more natural it will feel. There is a time and a place for different forms of conflict resolution. Whatever you decide, make it an intentional choice. One that is thought out and not centered in emotion. Make a choice that is right for you and those you value most. As for this democratic social worker and her republican military veteran, I can tell you firsthand that when we truly try to understand the other’s point of view, we often leave the conversation with the same belief as when we started but we find common ground through active listening and conversation. We leave feeling heard and respected. You can co-exist with differences in opinion. It’s how you treat those with a different opinion that truly matters most. Author: Crystal Not signed up for our newsletter? Click below to get signed up. Sign-up for Newsletter

Failure is Normal.

Love. Joy. Kindness, Self Worth /
Crystal / January 1, 2019

It’s good to have goals for life, but don’t let your hefty goals weigh you down this year. It’s predicted that only 8% of New Year’s Resolutions are reached. I am all for goal setting and planning but think about what you are setting yourself up for in the new year. Failure should be apart of every plan. No one gets it perfect the first time around. Allow for self-love and grace. Give yourself permission to fail, reconsider, and change course.   Failing does not make you a failure. Perhaps the new year is a time to re-examine your priorities. It could be time to shift your mindset into healthy, positive thinking. To start seeing yourself and the people around you as good, even when it’s hard. If you are getting hung up on goals this year, keep it simple and achievable. Let yourself off the hook, and don’t place your self-worth on whether or not you can reach a goal. There is so much more to you then your ability to reach goals. For me, the year of 2019 will represent a year of Trust. Trusting in the plan for my life. That the tasks and dreams placed on my heart will take form. Not on mine time, but when the time is right. Trusting that I have what it takes to carry out those dreams. I will let go of the fear of failure that holds me back and fully embrace my gifts. What does 2019 represent for you? Is this the year of new beginnings? Finding a place of healing? Rebuilding of relationships? Maybe it is letting go of fear that holds you back from your purpose in life. A new year can represent many things. Whatever it represents for you make it a time of self-care and set yourself up for positive change in the coming year. Author: Crystal

Joy does not equal Happiness

Love. Joy. Kindness, Marriage /
Crystal / December 22, 2018

As we enter the days leading up to Christmas, it can be a time of chaos, busy schedules, not enough time, and not enough energy. It can open old wounds and drag out memories you wish would stay hidden. Yet, despite the dark shadows that cloud our vision, it can still be a time of great joy. Joy is not the absence of pain. During heartache, turmoil, and brokenness you can still feel intense joy. You simply must choose to get there. It won’t be easy. The things that bring the greatest joy often come with great pain. Joy does not equal happiness. Happiness comes from external sources. These can be positive or negative. Such as a gift from a friend, a raise at work, alcohol, drugs, or a shopping spree. Happiness is dependent on what’s happening to us. It is a temporary emotion based on our surroundings. Joy comes from the inside. It takes intentional thinking and planning. The ability to look past the present moment and look to the bigger picture. Look for ways to improve the well-being of people. It’s the selfless acts of service. Setting your own immediate needs aside in order to make an impact later. For me happiness is a large cup coffee, watching Gilmore Girls, or reading a book. There is nothing wrong with any of these things. They make me happy, but I don’t feel the intense feeling of joy over these external items. The feelings of intense joy come when I look at my family. My broken family that has been pieced back together through intense healing, work, and selflessness.  The overcoming of imperfections and choosing to love despite heartache. It’s facing the fear of the unknown and watching the miracles of repair and forgiveness transform. Joy cannot be experienced without sacrifice, generosity, and patience. Let’s give up the life of contentment and begin to seek pure, intense joy. In what ways can you begin to show sacrificial generosity in your family or in your community? Perhaps, it’s showing kindness even when not deserved. Being generous to a stranger. Healing a relationship. Taking a step to address addiction or mental illness. It will look different for everyone. It may be hard now, but will provide lasting joy. When you find yourself in a dark shadow, be the bright light that brings hope! Author: Crystal

Dear Self

Self Worth, You are not alone /
Crystal / December 8, 2018

Dear Beautiful, Strong, & Compassionate Self, Today you are feeling confident, valued, and productive. Today you woke up with a spring in your step and a desire to make things happen. Today you care about people and have a kind heart. I know that this is not how you always feel. There are days that you wake up hating the world. You feel ugly, unappreciated, worthless. I want you to hear from me, the you on your good days. This day will come and go. Whether this is a good day or a bad day, it is 24 hours. It may seem like you will feel like this forever, but I am proof that you do not always feel this way. You have good days and you have bad days like everyone else. You do not always feel insecure and unproductive with low energy. When the hard days come around again, I want you to remember and embrace these truths: Emotions are good. You are allowed to feel annoyed, angry, frustrated, sad, confused. This is normal. Don’t fight or ignore them. Find helpful ways to release and feel the tough emotions. Yes, I know that you do not want to. Do it anyway. Everyone has good days, and everyone has bad days. This is not a character flaw. You cannot be at your best every day and that does not make you less worthy or capable You will not always feel this way. I know that it feels never-ending, but it will end. Bad days come, and they leave. Listen to you body. Your strong emotions are telling you something. Slow down, listen to what your body needs. Rest, take breaks, reflect. Do not feel guilty about your breaks, rest and reflection lead to better mood and productivity. Let others in. You may need time for solitude, quiet, and personal reflection. After you have allowed yourself to process, let others in. Community and connection are important even on the days that you feel tired and unworthy. At the end of the day, be proud that you accomplished another day of strong emotion. I know that it is not easy and you did it! Every day ends, make the most of this day. Even the pain has a great purpose in the bigger picture of life. Sincerely, The You on Your Good Days. Author: Crystal