“Your son is a disruption to the class. He is constantly moving and making noises.” The kindergarten teacher sounded exhausted. Even through the video call, I could tell that she was frustrated.

The words were not at all a surprise. 

I continued to listen to the kindergarten teacher go on about our six year old’s inability to follow rules, listen to direction, and be respectful of others. My heart ached for my son. I know underneath the hyper, constant moving body, is a sweet, caring, and empathetic boy. 

It wasn’t the first time we have heard this reaction. Previous daycare teachers shared similar reports. In fact we at home have experienced the same situations. Constant moving, running in circles, inability to sit for longer than one minute, easily distracted. 

I tried to be proactive and shared this information at the start of the school year with his Kindergarten teacher. Over the years I had also mentioned concerns to his pediatrician. I had spent countless hours reading articles and books and doing google searches on my son’s behavior and how to help him. 

The interventions and suggestions just didn’t seem to make a difference. Everyone seemed quick to point out that my son was loud and distracting, but no one had any suggestions on how to help him. 

He was seen as an inconvenience.

Later that same day, I pulled up to the elementary school and waited in the line of cars to pick up my son. I spotted him slowly walking toward the car, shoulders hunched over. He looked defeated. I smiled and waved to him and he did a quick lift of his hand to wave back but he didn’t smile. 

I watch in the rear view mirror as he climbs into the car, buckles up, and then the tears start rolling down his face. 

I am not surprised, this has been common lately. 

“Hey bud, it looks like you had another tough day,” I say softly. 

“Yeah. No one at school likes me. They all think I am stupid.” 

My heart ached as, I pulled the car over to a nearby parking lot. I held my child’s hand, and did my best to comfort him. 

Something had to change. We could not keep sending our 6 year old to school for him to come home feeling like he is a burden and unworthy. 

After several conversations with his teacher, family, other parents, and his pediatrician, it was determined that he met criteria for Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) diagnosis. While the diagnoses made sense, the controversy that comes with this label had my mind spinning. Thoughts about over-diagnosis, medication side effects, treatment options, experiences and opinions of others, all had me wondering what to do next. 

My husband and I discussed all the options and spoke with our family, friends, and pediatrician. We carefully considered the pros and cons. Ultimately, we decided to try medication in combination with therapy. We noticed the immediate impact with his treatment. We saw improvement in his grades, his interest in the things around him, his relationship with others including his younger brother, and his appetite. 

He could focus on reading, writing, eating, holding a conversation, and playing games. He was actually enjoying things around him, instead of running in circles and moving from one distraction to the next. 

It was a great reminder that while there may be stigma, over-diagnosis, and other dialogues occurring, that should not stop us from advocating for and trying things that our bodies need. 

ADHD medication for our child turned out to be life changing for him. Even he, at his young age, notices the difference in his body. He comments on feeling calm and in control. 

Sometimes what is right for others is not what is right for you. Don’t let fear stop you from making the right choice for you and your family.

Author: 

Crystal