Today I felt like I was not enough.

Not enough patience. Not enough kindness. Not enough of me to meet the needs of others.

Today I yelled. Today I cried. Today I wanted to just close my eyes.

I didn’t want to find the positivity. I couldn’t sort through my exhaustion and frustration to pivot. I was just in it. In the yuck. One of those days when I felt like everything was going to bubble up and over at the most inopportune moment… right in the middle of a quiet library, of course. A pile of books to check out, soaking wet from the rain, fumbling through my receipts shoved into a disorganized wallet for the library card that is admittedly used too infrequently. And, of course, a child who was whining at a high volume due to a sudden development of a strong distaste for my lack of backpack water bottle selection and couldn’t wait a second longer for me to unearth a new option. This was coupled with a second child who was trying to wrestle her in his efforts to remind her to be quiet in the library. I don’t care which badges of honor you wear… a mom of one, mom of ten, working mom, stay at home mom, master of the family domain, new mom, seasoned mom, deliriously exhausted mom to a newborn, master referee and professional negotiator to toddlers, professional chauffeur to busy teens, or first time empty nest mom who is lying awake at night longing for her home to be filled with noise and chaos again.

We are all mothers.

We all have both the hardest job and most beautiful job available to human kind. I know these are the years to cherish. I know they will go quickly. It’s not lost on me how blessed I am. And I know beyond a shadow of a doubt I love my children with all of my heart. But sometimes in a world of social media highlights and relentless positivity, we have to be okay experiencing the yuck and be okay with not being okay. And be willing to say that out loud. I say this to all the mamas who may just need to know you’re not alone.

Behind the smiles, behind the social media highlights, behind it all, we all have our moments of doubt, frustration, too muchery (this is what happens when I am only one cup of coffee in… I make up words). This is when we need to remember to give one another grace, gift each other with a smile, and forgive ourselves for today is a new day. Mamas, I see you. I hear you. I know you have your days too. And on those days, know you are not alone. Thank God for new days.

Author: Natalie Brandt