The person you love has told you that they have been struggling with a mental illness. You want to do and say all the right things so you think extra carefully about what to say next, but you are left wondering if you’ve said enough.

How can I help them?

What if I made it worse?

Often well-intentioned family and friends tend to overthink and dwell on how to help their loved one. We forget how far the power of a listening ear and a kind heart can go. If someone has disclosed to you that they have a mental illness, take that as a huge compliment. They trust you. Releasing those words into the air and out of their heart was more therapeutic than you will ever know.

The question remains: How do I respond?

I have complied a list of tips that have been helpful to those living with mental illness.

If you feel that your loved one is at immediate risk of harming themselves or someone else, see the resources at the bottom of this page and act immediately.

6 Ways to Support your Family or Friend living with Mental Illness

1. Believe them.

Mental illness is often an unseen condition. You may not be able to see their signs and symptoms, but if they are telling you that they struggle with some form of mental illness don’t down play it. Believe and trust that it is true.

2. Don’t try to fix it. Instead try to understand.

It’s human nature to want to fix a problem. Sometimes problems are not ours to fix. Instead of trying to offer solutions, try to understand what mental illness looks like for them. You could ask questions like “What do anxiety/depression/mental illness symptoms look like for you?” “What does a hard day look like?” “Are there things that make a hard day worse?” “Are there things that make a hard day better?”

3. Offer grace instead of frustration.

Cancelled plans. Ignored texts or phone calls. Lack of follow through. Unexplained silence or avoidance.

These can all be symptoms of mental illness. Don’t take it personally if your lunch date with a friend is rescheduled multiple times. It does not mean that they are avoiding you. It’s possible that their symptoms are heightened, and they have entered survival mode. Choose to offer grace and kindness as much as possible. They are feeling enough guilt for both of you. Keep inviting them to events. They want to be included and feel wanted even if they can’t physically get there.

4. Learn to love silence.

Be comfortable with silence. Sometimes your presence is all that is needed. If you are searching for the perfect words or are bombarding them with a constant stream of talk, then their thoughts and words might be washed out. Silence is great and can allow the person to gather their thoughts and will show them that you are in no rush.

5. Take time to learn more.

Seek out resources and articles that describe the causes, symptoms, and treatments for their specific illness. If you need help finding information, reach out to us at Hope in a Hopeless World under our request for resources section.

After you have taken the time to believe in them, understand, offer grace, and learn more, then when the time is right encourage them to take the next steps toward treatment. Immediately offering solutions before you truly understand them can be counterproductive. However, if your family or friend is showing signs of harming themselves or others act immediately. Additional resources at the bottom of this page can help you through that process.

6. Take care of yourself.

Perhaps the most important of all of these, is to take care of your own mental and physical health. Setting appropriate boundaries, taking time for self-care, practicing positive thinking, and taking care of your own personal needs will be crucial to helping someone else. Your family or friend wants to see you in a good place, they do not want to see you burned out from them.

Mental illness is far more common then it may seem. Making the choice to offer grace as your first reaction will make a huge impact on the lives of those around you. And as a bonus you will being practicing health thinking too. <3

Author: Crystal

Additional Resources: 

• Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1-800-273-8255 https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/
• Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741, https://www.crisistextline.org/
• For additional information on how to help someone with a mental illness check out NAMIs tip sheet. https://www.nami.org/Get-Involved/NAMI-FaithNet/Tips-For-How-to-Help-a-Person-with-Mental-Illness