Instantly the smell of freshly baked cookies finds me in the doorway. Following the scent, my nose tracks the smell to the kitchen where I find my husband carefully putting the finishing touches on his newest baking endeavor.

“Thought I would surprise you with your favorite.” My husband smiles when he sees me in the entryway.

Is there anything better than a freshly baked chocolate chip cookie right from the oven?

Accepting his invitation to this heavenly cookie, my enjoyment comes to a crashing halt as soon as the cycle of negative self-talk comes rushing in.

Should you really be eating this? This isn’t the healthiest of choice, now is it? Your husband made them for you so now you are forced to put bad food choices into your body. Two cookies should really be your limit. Well you didn’t eat a very health lunch, so maybe you should limit yourself to one cookie. You’ve probably gained five pounds just in that first bite. If only I would have eaten healthier earlier today, then I wouldn’t feel so guilty about eating these cookies.

All this guilt and shame that I heap upon myself over one simple cookie.

Instead of being overjoyed that my husband took the time to bake my favorite, my thoughts are consumed with worry.

When did certain foods become “bad” and certain foods become “good?”

And when did the “bad” foods translate to “you are bad, because you eat that.”

How often do we judge ourselves and those around us on the food choices that we make? Or talk openly at social events about which foods are good and healthy and which foods are bad and shouldn’t be touched?

How often do we allow the guilt over eating the “right” foods dictate our choices?

We allow our food choices to dictate which social events we attend, the time of day we can eat, or even the value we place on ourselves. Somehow our culture has convinced us that if we eat certain foods, we are of more value then another person that eats other types of foods.

Healthy choices have been linked to good mental and physical health. But what do healthy choices really look like? A simple google search will produce thousands of articles on dieting, health eating, and lifestyle change. Each one claiming to have the key to happier, healthier lives. While eating each food group in moderation may have some nutritional benefits, at what point does our “healthy eating” become “food shaming?” And at what point does our “healthy eating” began to lower our quality of life?

The food we eat should not define our worth as a person. Often, we allow food to do just that.

Perhaps we need to re-examine what healthy looks like. Our mental and physical health should always become before our desire to change our physical appearance. Think about the last time you felt guilty about food, decided to start your next diet trend, or hit up the gym. Was your motivation strictly to improve your mental and physical health? Or was the motivation to change your outward appearance the driving force?

Every person has the power to define what healthy looks like for them. I would encourage you today to re-examine your motivations for healthy living. Begin to implement changes that will improve your mental and physical health. And stop shaming yourself and others over what food you choose to eat or not eat.

Let’s begin to view each person as an individual and recognize that healthy looks different for each person. Give yourself grace today, remind yourself that you are in control. You have a spirit of power and of love. Use that to build others up, and most of all use it to build up yourself!