How has mental illness impacted your life? I have struggled with PTSD, major depression, OCD, and a fear of crowds. All of these stemmed from my time serving in Iraq. My mental illness caused me to shut people out of my life and close off my emotions. For many years I didn’t realize how much these things were impacting my life. Now looking back I can see that I was looking for ways to numb the pain, wasn’t sleeping at night, and was over working to distract my mind. I would often be angry at little things causing me to withdraw from people even more. Living in survival mode every day was painful for me and everyone around me. What does it look like for you to be mentally healthy? Communication is a big part of staying mentally healthy. Talking things through has helped me so much. I continue to go to talk therapy. I also talk through problems, concerns, and symptoms with my wife and family which is something I never did before. Accepting that symptoms of mental illness may never be completely gone, but knowing that I can manage my symptoms has given me hope. Now days, I still struggle with sleeping problems (not being able to fall asleep and having nightmares). There has been progress toward managing sleep, but it is still a work in progress. Compared to where I was before, I can say that the trial and error of finding the right treatment is worth it. Even with some aspects unresolved, my life has joy again.

#YouAreNotAlone #MentalHealthAwarenessMonth How has mental illness impacted your life? This question for me is a difficult one to answer. Mostly because mental illness has been so subtly dangerous throughout my life. It is hard for me to decipher the irregular thoughts and moods from the normal human emotions. I tend to cycle through anxiety, depression, and a healthy mind. From the outside, I may look the same on a good day, anxious day, or depressed day. Anxiety impacts my life through hypervigilance, the constant awareness of threats or danger. With this comes other common symptoms of anxiety such as difficulty breathing, racing thoughts, unwanted thoughts, and irritability. Depression for me often results in low motivation, lack of interest in anyone or anything, social isolation, and overwhelming hopelessness. Anxiety and depression have been at the base of my mind and left unmanaged have resulted in escalated complications with my health. I have experienced eating disorders, compassion fatigue, post-traumatic stress disorder, and physical symptoms leading to ER and hospital visits. The thoughts of “others have it worse off than me” and “my issues are so minor compared to the issues others have” led to dismissive behavior. I often ignored the warning signs and denied my mind and body of the healing and treatment it was so desperately craving. What does mental health look like for you? Mental health for me is not the absence of symptoms, rather it is in my ability to manage these symptoms. Just like physical health must be maintained, so does mental health. The things that keep my mind in a healthy place depend on the season of life and the symptoms I am experiencing. Journaling, prayer, therapy, meditation, yoga, walks, scheduling quiet times, and communicating to the people around me what I need, all contribute to a health mind for me. On days that I feel anxiety or depression symptoms heighten, it helps me to make a list for the day. The list might be a to-do list for the day or a reminder of what helps me cope with depression or anxiety. If depression or anxiety is heavy that day, my list might be quite simple such as get dressed, wash my face, brush my teeth, and step outside. Some days are good, and some days are hard. The kindest thing I can do for myself is offer my mind and body grace on the hard days.